Wait, Is Porn Bad For You?
- By Rebekah Harding
- Fact-checked by Joy Ferguson
- May 30, 2023
We now live in a world that’s divided on everything—including porn. While it’s reported that around 500,000 new viewers join OnlyFans each day, scores of others are X-ing out of private browsing windows for good. The main reason: a worry that watching porn is somehow bad for you.
#CornAddiction (porn is often referenced as “corn” to bypass censorship) has amassed over 226.6 million views on TikTok. The hashtag is packed with videos of self-diagnosed addicts and self-declared experts making sweeping claims that porn, even when only viewed occasionally, can destroy your life and relationships. Many posters highlight concerns like the glorification of violent sex, exploitative industry practices, and unrealistic performance expectations.
Which are all fair concerns. But that doesn’t mean consuming porn is harmful.
“Social paranoia routinely pops up throughout history. I think this is just another iteration of it,” says AASECT certified sex therapist Tom Murray, Ph.D.
Is Porn Bad For You?
Watching—and masturbating to—porn doesn’t have any sexual health consequences for the great majority of people, says Murray.
Despite anecdotal claims swirling around that pornography makes it harder to get it up or enjoy real life sexual experiences, a study published in 2022 found the frequency of pornography use did not impact sexual dissatisfaction (1).
A healthy porn habit may even boost your sex life, according to a study published in 2015 in the Journal of Sexual Medicine (2): Guys who watched more porn reported a boosted libido and a stronger desire to have sex with a partner.
So, why do some guys report being able to keep and maintain an erection while watching porn but not during sex? It may have something to do with how uncomplicated watching porn is compared to a partnered sex.
“Porn is easy and straightforward in a way that partnered sex is not. Partnered sex involves being able to communicate with someone around a subject that often causes shame,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a licensed psychotherapist and certified sex therapist. “With porn, there’s nobody to communicate with if you don’t like what you’re seeing. You just switch to something else.”
Is Porn Addictive?
Despite what TikTok fearmonger-ers will have you believe, porn addiction isn’t a clinical diagnosis recognized by the DSM-5, the American Psychological Association or the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists. Religion frequently may exacerbate this concern, according to the APA, which notes that even guys who watch a low to moderate amount of X-rated flicks may think their habit is a problem due to their moral or religious beliefs.
“We tend to have a very moralistic view of porn, whereas if someone is watching six hours of football on a Sunday, we wouldn’t call that a ‘football watching addiction,’” Murray says. “But if someone were watching porn for six hours on a Sunday afternoon, alarm bells go off.”
Still, Murray says, there are some people who engage in problematic uses of porn, such as watching porn at work or using porn to the degree that they’re avoiding other activities.
If that sounds familiar, Laura Rutledge, a licensed counselor and certified sex addiction therapist, recommends seeking out a certified sex addiction therapist (CSAT). “A CSAT would be able to provide a thorough assessment to screen for sexual compulsivity.”
Compulsive sexual behavior is a term therapists use to describe intense focus on sexual fantasies, urges or behaviors that can’t be controlled—including problematic porn use.
“We might find that our fantasies are informed by some kind of trauma, which can take some digging and work with a qualified professional,” Rutledge says. “We want sexuality to be informed by intimacy, clarity, respect, playfulness, and gratitude, whether or not pornography is in the picture.”
Porn in Relationships
Incorporating porn in your relationship can boost your libido and spice up your sex life, but there’s a right way to do it. The experts break down what porn to watch, how to talk about it, and what to watch out for.
Watch ethical porn
The anti-porn crowd likes to point fingers at hardcore kink scenes and a few cases of industry malpractice as a reason so swear off NSFW videos for good. Now with the insurgence of AI porn of unknowing celebrities and influencers, even guys who have no problem with porn are anxious about stumbling upon a nonconsensual scene.
If you want to rest easy knowing that the adult actors in your favorite flicks are on board, Kerner recommends seeking out ethical porn.
“Ethical porn is created with everybody’s consent, everybody is of age, and the actors often have a lot of input into the scripts,” Kerner says. “I know for myself and for my patients, it’s much more comforting to know you’re watching ethical porn. And it’s usually higher quality porn.”
Websites that host homemade porn and small production companies like Bright Desire, Make Love Not Porn, and Lustery uphold rigorous ethical standards and feature real couples. Popular platforms like OnlyFans give performers total control over their content—and they require ID verification for creators.
Be honest
It can be helpful to discuss your browsing habits with your S.O. Murray warns that not getting on the same page with your partner about porn can lead to very real relationship issues.
“It’s violating agreements between a couple that is the real issue. If one says that porn is inconsistent with their values or they agree never to watch porn, then someone gets caught watching porn, this can be a problem.” says Murray.
Rutledge suggests that if talking about porn feels taboo, try starting by just talking about your sex life, and sliding in some porn-related questions. “You could ask, ‘What do you like about our sex life?’ then follow up later with, ‘Do you think there is room for pornography in a loving, healthy relationship?’”
But, broaching the topic of porn with your partner can be a bit awkward.
Ditch unrealistic expectations
“I think that people get confused about the purpose of porn,” Murray says. “Porn is entertainment. It’s not education.”
Murray should know. He’s become something of a porn connoisseur after viewing hours of pornography for a popular sex toy and erotica company. While he focuses on evaluating the content to ensure it meets community standards, he also has an inside look at the reality behind the exaggerated and extreme scenes. And he’ll assure you that even porn actors aren’t having the sex that’s depicted in the film.
“When you watch porn, you see penises that are 8 to 12 inches. That’s just outrageous,” Murray says. “Seeing that, people might think there’s something wrong with them.”
“Porn might depict someone ejaculating after 40 minutes of penetrative sex,” Murray says. “In reality, the person ejaculates within a relatively normal period of time, but then that piece is spliced out and added to the end.”
