Menopause Rage Is Real. Here’s How to Cope
Tame your temper with these tips.

Tame your temper with these tips.
It’s no secret that the menopause transition comes in hot (literally) with intense symptoms that can affect your physical and mental well-being. With your hormones yo-yo-ing during perimenopause, it’s no wonder your mood can swing from fine to not-so-fine in a matter of minutes. At times, you may even feel an inexplicable surge of anger, known as menopause rage—and that’s completely normal.
“Think of menopause as emotional turbulence on an otherwise smooth flight,” says Australia-based psychologist Veronica West, M.P.H. “Hormone shifts, especially the drop in estrogen, can throw your mood regulation out the window.”
When your body starts producing less estrogen, often in your late 40s, you may begin to feel depressed and angry, West explains. But don’t worry, you won’t be on this emotional roller coaster forever. Health professionals say there are several ways to bring down your boiling rage to a gentle simmer.
Alyssa Dweck, M.D., FACOG, is a New York gynecologist and the Chief Medical Officer at Bonafide Health. She specializes in menopause and female sexual health issues.
Veronica West, M.P.H., is a psychologist in Australia. She treats clients of diverse backgrounds and specializes in treating mental health during all stages of life. West is also the lead content creator at My Thriving Mind, which provides tools and worksheets for therapists.
Bruce Dorr, M.D., is a gynecologist and the senior medical advisor at Biote. He specializes in female pelvic medicine at all ages and regularly works with clients going through the menopause transition.
Menopause rage hits everyone differently. Your sudden anger could make you cry excessively or lead to verbal (or even physically violent) outbursts, such as having a complete meltdown in the grocery store when you can’t find the last item on your list.
Or, you could feel the urge to repeatedly punch a pillow after a slightly frustrating conversation with a loved one. It’s no wonder menopause rage can seriously strain your relationships. Imagine feeling the need to scream at your partner without understanding why. These intense bouts of anger can damage mutual trust and respect in your relationship.
Your menopause rage could also make you feel generally annoyed or irritable. For instance, you might feel short-tempered or grouchy when doing specific work tasks or chores at home. You may not even experience menopause rage at all.
All of these scenarios are normal, and none of them—the bad and the ugly included—are your fault.
Symptoms of menopause rage start in perimenopause, when your hormones begin to fluctuate dramatically. One study found that as many as 70 percent of people undergoing perimenopause listed irritability as their “primary mood complaint” (1).
Anger and irritability are often associated with perimenopause, though they can continue into menopause and beyond, too. Everyone is different, so while your menopause rage may fizzle out by the time perimenopause ends, others may experience irritability for longer.
Fortunately, those bouts of rage aren’t permanent—and managing temporary irritability can go a long way.
“Mood swings during perimenopause and menopause are real and have multiple causes,” gynecologist Alyssa Dweck, M.D., says. Of course, just because mood swings are common during this time doesn’t mean they’re any less frustrating.
Fluctuating hormones can affect your mood and make you feel on edge. Oxytocin, for example, is a hormone that can alleviate tension and make you feel less stressed and irritable (2). But, when you’re going through perimenopause, oxytocin gradually declines. As a result, you may feel less excited about sex—and having regular sex can help you feel calm and relaxed (3).
A drop in oxytocin is also linked to low estrogen levels. And as estrogen drops, serotonin follows (3, 4). “Serotonin is a neurotransmitter often linked to mood, [and] less serotonin can result in mood changes, specifically symptoms of depression,” Dweck explains. A decrease in serotonin can also make you feel frustrated or tense (5).
If you’ve heard loved ones talk about using antidepressants to treat menopause symptoms, this is why. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) can help your body make up for declining serotonin levels, easing mood swings and reducing anger (6).
Levels of dopamine, another feel-good hormone, may also go down as estrogen wanes, Dweck adds. Research suggests that low dopamine levels can make you feel more reactive and aggressive when provoked (7).
Insomnia, hot flashes, itchy skin—it’s no wonder you feel like you’re about to erupt at any given moment. With all the changes your body is going through, a bit (or a lot!) of irritability is more than understandable.
For example, if your hot flashes make you want to scream, using hand-held fans, lowering the AC in your home, or dressing your bed in cooling sheets can all help you feel more regulated, temperature-wise.
You may also be frustrated by recent—and unexplained—weight gain, especially around your stomach (aka menopause belly).
The demands in your late 40s and early 50s are high. You might be at the peak of your career, raising children, or caring for aging parents, all of which can add stress as you navigate the ups and downs of perimenopause.
Relationship issues and financial stressors can also contribute to your irritability, Dweck suggests. Having an unsupportive partner or lack of a support network can also make the menopause transition even more emotionally challenging (8). When you feel like you’ve reached your limit, it’s no wonder a spontaneous angry outburst could ensue—emotional exhaustion can do that to you. However, the impact of your rage could be much bigger than snapping at a loved one. It could affect your job security: “Irritability can [disrupt] work performance,” gynecologist Bruce Dorr, M.D., says.
So, how can you manage all of these demands in your life while also taking care of yourself? “Surround yourself with community,” Dweck says. Even if your partner is supportive, if they aren’t also undergoing menopause, it can be hard for them to relate to what you’re going through (9). Find like-minded folks who can discuss and sympathize with the symptoms you’re experiencing. You’ll feel less alone, Dweck says.
One study found that as many as 70 percent of people undergoing perimenopause listed irritability as their “primary mood complaint.”
Introduce these holistic tips into your weekly routine to silence menopause rage for good.
Dweck and West encourage practicing positive mental health exercises, like mindfulness, to curb anger during menopause. Whether you do it while commuting to work or through talk therapy with a professional, being more mindful can help reduce feelings of aggression (10).
“Think deep breathing, meditation, or yoga,” suggests West. She encourages trying “anything that helps you tap into your inner calm and press ‘pause’ on those emotions.”
In a similar vein, reducing stress is critical to managing perimenopause symptoms that can trigger feelings of anger and rage, Dweck says.
This advice isn’t new: Moving your body regularly (about 150 minutes a week) is a scientifically proven way to boost your overall health (11). During menopause, exercise can also help you release pent-up anger and sadness by increasing serotonin (12, 13).
“Regular exercise is a great mood booster. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme—a brisk walk or even dancing around the living room counts,” West says. Any movement that gets your endorphins, aka your body’s natural painkillers, flowing is a win, she adds.
When you don’t get enough sleep, you are more likely to feel agitated, stressed, and angry (14). That’s why getting quality rest each night is critical to your overall well-being. “Good sleep works like a ‘reset’ button for your mood, helping you start [your day feeling] fresh,” West says.
Want to snooze better at night? Consider introducing healthy sleep hygiene habits into your bedtime routine. This can include dimming the lights, doing a brief meditation, and avoiding caffeine by the late afternoon.
What you eat can impact your hormone levels. If you feel moody and irritable, eating heavily processed, high-in-fat foods can actually intensify these feelings. Sugary foods, for example, can spike your blood glucose (sugar) levels. Just like a roller coaster reaches its peak, what goes up must come down—and quickly. This rapid drop in blood sugar can make you feel anything from anxious to angry (15).
To ward off hanger, eat a balance of lean proteins (like chicken and Greek yogurt) and fiber-rich foods (such as fruits and vegetables). These foods can also help you avoid menopause belly, and potentially protect your self-esteem.
If you’re constantly feeling on edge, and it’s beginning to hinder the quality of your life, it’s time to see a health professional. Your primary care doctor may suggest antidepressants or refer you to a counselor for cognitive behavioral therapy. Both counseling and medication can be invaluable tools in your arsenal when you’re dealing with menopause rage.
“As a practicing gynecologist, I consider hormone therapy, non-hormonal drugs, and clinically studied supplements for those having menopause symptoms that interfere with quality of life,” Dweck says.
Look for providers with experience treating patients going through the menopause transition. “Because providers often have very little training in the treatment of perimenopause and menopause or the symptoms that accompany these life stages,” Dorr says. Consider exploring the North American Menopause Society (NAMS) practitioner directory to find experts, including physicians, physical therapists, mental health professionals, and nurses who are Menopause Society Certified Practitioners worldwide.
He adds that physicians often prescribe medications like sleeping aids and antidepressants to treat the immediate issue—not the underlying one. While a physician may prescribe one of these drugs to you with good intentions, they could actually amplify some of your symptoms—and lead to even more frustration. “These prescriptions often cause additional problems such as libido loss, sexual dysfunction, and weight gain,” he says.
Hormone replacement therapy (HRT), also known as menopause hormone therapy (MHT), is an option for women whose perimenopause symptoms—including anger—are significantly impacting their day-to-day lives. If other coping strategies haven’t been effective, MHT could be a good option. If you’re already on hormone therapy but still experiencing bursts of anger and irritability, ask your doctor if you need to change your HRT dose.
Remember, no questions aren’t worth asking. This is your health, after all, and you are your biggest advocate. “Menopause is a natural life stage, not a disease,” Dweck says. “Being proactive by educating yourself [about menopause] and maintaining a healthy lifestyle is so important.”
If you’re experiencing verbal or physical outbursts, sudden feelings of anger, and irritability, you’re one of many women dealing with menopause rage. Dramatic mood swings caused by fluctuating hormones during perimenopause can bring on feelings of intense rage out of nowhere—and it’s completely normal. Practicing mindfulness, seeing a therapist, and talking to your doctor about prescription medication, from antidepressants to hormone replacement therapy, are all ways you can stabilize your mood.