Weight Loss Psychology: The Mindset Shift You Need in Midlife

Remember the days (your 20s) when you could knock out a long run after a night fueled by beer and pizza? Or, have the energy to hit up a yoga class before and squeeze in a quick Pilates workout before dinner? Fast forward to now: You’re in midlife, juggling kids’ schedules and work deadlines, all while trying to find time to cook healthy meals and squeeze in a fat-burning workout. And yet, losing weight feels almost impossible now. What happened? 

Weight loss motivation is particularly important at this stage of life. Even if you developed a healthy lifestyle in your 20s and 30s, midlife brings an entirely new set of challenges around weight that, whether you like it or not, require you to reexamine your approaches. 

“It’s important to develop a healthy mindset in midlife because it’s a turning point,” says registered dietitian Elizabeth M. Ward, R.D.N. “People can expect to live another 30 or so years after age 50—but as you get older, changes take place on a cellular level.”

Cells become larger and multiply more slowly as you age, which may cause them to function abnormally (1). These cells that aren’t dead but aren’t quite functioning properly either are known as senescent or zombie cells, and they can cause organs like the heart, lungs, and gut to become less resilient to disease and illness.

“Controlling your weight takes some of the burden off your cells by creating an anti-inflammatory environment that reduces cell damage,” Ward adds. 

Managing your weight also reduces insulin resistance, which is linked to type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and cancer—chronic ailments that can be fatal or otherwise detract from how much you enjoy your life in later years. 

About the Experts

Elizabeth M. Ward, R.D.N., is a registered dietitian and co-author of The Menopause Diet Plan. 

Amy Reichelt, Ph.D., is a nutritional neuroscientist who specializes in how lifestyle, diet, and novel pharmacotherapies can enhance brain health and mental wellbeing. 

Lucas Myers, C.S.C.S, NSCA-C.P.T., is the senior director of commercial channel development at ATI Physical Therapy. 

Stephen Gullo, Ph.D., is a New York-based specialist in behavioral nutrition.

5 Common Mental Challenges with Weight Loss

Both men and women deal with time management issues during midlife, as they’re pulled in different directions and may not have the bandwidth to care for themselves properly, Ward says. 

Even though it’s hard to lose weight in middle age, shifting your mindset amid these common challenges can help. 

You want to do things the way you always have

Let’s face it: We’re creatures of habit. After decades of eating your favorite foods and doing your favorite workouts, you’re probably not eager to switch things up. But the fact is that your body is changing, and old routines won’t produce the results they once did. 

For men, a natural decline in testosterone over time can lead to more body fat, a decline in muscle mass, and less motivation to get moving, nutritional neuroscientist Amy Reichelt, Ph.D., says. This dip in testosterone can also cause your metabolism to slow down, leading to weight gain. 

For women entering perimenopause and menopause, estrogen levels can drop, causing fatigue and belly fat and increasing the risk of bone loss (2). 

“Aging can also decrease your insulin sensitivity, making it more challenging to regulate blood sugar levels, leading to increased fat storage,” Reichelt adds. “That can contribute to weight gain and make weight loss more challenging.”

Start to shift your weight loss mentality by accepting that things are changing. “It’s tough to think that you’re getting older and that you need to change your habits, but that’s the first step to shifting your mindset at midlife,” Ward says. “Educate yourself about how the body changes at this time of life.”

Changing your habits in midlife may involve swapping packaged foods for whole foods, cutting back on alcohol, and improving your sleep hygiene ritual.

You’re worried about getting injured 

That knee pain that crops up every year or two, or the shoulder injury that never seemed to heal might make exercise extra daunting in midlife. 

“Those chronic physical injuries from when you were younger can start to impede activities,” Reichelt says. “Suddenly, taking up a sport or activity that you haven’t done in many years can cause further damage.”

That said, it’s a catch-22, because stability and strength training can actually help prevent injury as you age (3).

If you can, it’s worth investing in working with a personal trainer who understands midlife challenges. They can help tailor a fitness program to your individual needs and required modifications, while also focusing on your strengths.

You may also find it helpful to explore low-impact cardio workouts like biking or swimming. This can build cardiovascular stamina, while preventing injuries that are more likely with higher intensity activities, adds Reichelt. 

You’ve forgotten how to eat balanced meals 

If you have kids in the house, this might sound familiar: You’re all eating dinner together, and you find yourself scarfing down your food. Why? Maybe you were swamped at work that day or had to run multiple errands that prevented you from eating until right now. 

“We have increased work responsibilities due to our career maturation, our kids are starting to grow up and get into more demanding activities that take up more of their time and ours, and perhaps we even have to care for aging family members,” Lucas Myers, C.S.C.S, NSCA-C.P.T says. 

As a result, you may power through the day before eating a single well-rounded meal. By dinnertime, you’re starving and heading back for seconds, maybe even thirds. By the end of the meal, you feel overstuffed.

One small-scale study published in a 2022 issue of Cell Metabolism found that people who ate a majority of their calories later in the day experienced more hunger and burned fewer calories compared to those who ate earlier in the day (4). All of these factors can lead to weight gain. 

“The skipping of meals during the day leads to eating excessively at night,” behavioral nutrition specialist Stephen Gullo, Ph.D., says. “And the calories consumed at night are stored to a greater degree than if you eat the same calories in the morning or at lunch.”

The solution: Prioritize eating. Stop viewing regular meals as a luxury, but rather, see them as a must-have. If you need to, prepare your meals the night before, so you have a quick snack, breakfast, or lunch on hand when you start getting hungry at work but don’t have time to cook or leave your workplace to grab food. 

“Men and women should eat most of their calories in the early part of the day and limit eating after dinner, if at all,” Ward says. “Eating earlier in the day works with your body’s natural rhythms and helps you better metabolize food and control your blood glucose levels.”

When you eat regular meals throughout the day, opt for high-fiber foods like fruits, vegetables, and legumes. Getting at least 30 grams of fiber daily will help you stay fuller longer, Ward adds. 

You’re snacking to cope with stress

By midlife, you’ve likely climbed the ranks in your career. Regardless of your industry, more experience brings more responsibilities—and often, more stress. 

“As you develop your career, very often you don’t have time to exercise,” Gullo says. “With competing responsibilities comes added stress and stress eating.” 

The trick to shift this mindset? Know your triggers for stress eating, then slowly start to remove them. 

“Just like you have your own unique fingerprint, you also have your own unique eating print,” Gullo says. Whether you’re a salty snacker, a sweets fiend, or a constant grazer, you’ll need to find ways to resist the temptation. Avoid buying the trigger food in the first place, buy healthier versions, or at the very least, buy smaller portions. Experts also recommend identifying other ways to destress that don’t involve food, whether it’s taking a quick walk, doing a five-minute meditation, or watching a reel of silly cat videos. 

If TV has become your nibbling trigger over the years, pour yourself a pre-portioned snack and stash the larger bag away. Research shows that people eat for longer when they watch TV (compared to when they don’t), which may contribute to overeating (5). 

You feel self-conscious at the gym

Back in the day, you didn’t think twice about breaking a sweat alongside other gym-goers. But when you hit midlife, you may suddenly feel out of place.

Low self-esteem can create a cycle of negative thinking around your health goals, Reichelt says. In particular, insecurities about weight and appearance can make you feel less capable and less motivated to pursue your health and fitness goals.

Psychologically, it’s just as important to work on your self-compassion as it is to keep your body healthy. 

“Everyone’s fitness journey is unique, and there are setbacks along the way,” Reichelt says. “However, fostering a mindset of self-acceptance can help build confidence and reduce the fear of judgment.”

If you still feel weird about hitting the gym, consider trying different workouts. “There are many excellent free online workouts that you can do in the privacy of your own home.” Ward says. “Or try walking outside more.” 

More Weight Loss

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How the Brain Affects the Body

Taking care of your mental health can set you up for better physical health and even weight loss.

“A positive, flexible, and resilient mindset can have a profound impact on physical health, emotional well-being, and overall quality of life as you navigate the complexities of aging,” Reichelt says. 

Research shows that those with greater cognitive flexibility—the ability to shift behavior based on a changing environment—are significantly more successful at losing weight (6). 

What’s more, people who lose and maintain weight successfully tend to have similar strategies, including persevering through setbacks, changing key behaviors, and staying consistent. Many of them also boost their motivation by focusing on the better health and appearance they’ll enjoy when they reach a lower weight (7). 

How to Create a Positive Mindset for Weight Loss

You don’t have to go it alone: To cultivate a positive mindset for a healthy weight, take advantage of your support network and celebrate little wins.

Social support and healthy activities are both important pillars of health, Reichelt says.

Your support system might include fitness groups or recreational sports teams. Or, it could include a team of professionals—think personal trainers, nutritionists, physical therapists, and even psychologists or counselors who understand the unique challenges you’re facing in midlife. 

As you shift your mindset, don’t dwell on how drastically things may have changed since your youth. Instead, recognize and celebrate the things your body can still do. 

Go easy on yourself. Make small, incremental changes. “Instead of doing a complete overhaul to your life, think small for big results,” says Ward. Drink one more bottle of water and try cutting your p.m. munchies in half. If you have a desk job, get up every hour to take a lap around the block or the building. If you want to hit the gym more, aim for three times a week instead of every day.