My battle with depression began in my mid-twenties, after finishing my service in the Army and National Guard. I started developing intense intrusive, suicidal thoughts that occupied my mind from the moment I woke up until I could finally get some sleep.
For years I tried to mask it from my friends and family by going through the motions: Performing well at work, exercising, and maintaining a happy-go-lucky, unserious exterior. I made a valiant effort to try and cure depression on my own by exercising and sticking to a healthy diet.
But, when I would muster the energy to work out, I could hardly make it through one set in the weight room. I wasn’t gaining any muscle despite the fact I was eating 240 grams of protein daily.
My mental health plummeted even more when the pandemic hit. I was cooped up in a house with three roommates in Tempe, Arizona. I began drinking more and my suicidal thoughts got louder. My loved ones started to realize I was becoming more distant, as I avoided group activities I used to enjoy and became more irritable.
I sought out the help of a psychiatrist and a counselor and was prescribed medication. The antidepressants helped curb the intrusive thoughts, but I still felt numb, so I stopped taking them.
One night in 2022, two shots deep, I was doom scrolling through Instagram in bed when I stumbled upon an advertisement that caught my eye.
“Are you struggling with depression? Are you having trouble maintaining muscle? You could have low testosterone,” the ad read.
I always thought low T was an issue exclusive to older guys but it described exactly what I’d been dealing with for the past few years.
I clicked on the image of a small, black box on a yellow background that took me to Hone Health’s website. I purchased the at-home hormone assessment without giving it much thought. I was relieved I wouldn’t have to drag myself out of the house to get the test.
My results came in just a few weeks later. I found out my total testosterone was t 421 ng/dL. While that figure falls within the normal range, my doctor confirmed it was on the lower end for a guy my age, and that my symptoms were probably stemming from that.
Editor’s Note: Average testosterone levels fall between 409 and 558 ng/dL for men in their twenties (1)—and healthy testosterone levels can range anywhere from 300 ng/dL to 1,200 ng/dL. However, TRT may be recommended to those who experience symptoms of hypogonadism—including fatigue, depression, and muscle loss—even if their levels are within that range.
During my appointment, my doctor explained low testosterone can happen to men of all ages (2). I also learned that veterans may be at a higher risk of developing low testosterone, due to stress, exposure to toxins, and injury—all things I’d experienced during my service.
TRT Saved My Life
Just three weeks after I started twice-weekly intramuscular TRT injections, my intrusive thoughts vanished. My depression began dissipating and I slowly became excited about activities again, like hiking and going out with my friends. I even naturally found myself drinking less alcohol.
Now a year and a half into treatment, I don’t recognize the person I once was. My testosterone levels are just over 1,000 ng/dL. Now that my depression is under control, I have the motivation to focus on my fitness and have lost 50 pounds since starting TRT. The kicker? I’m finally seeing muscle growth on my high-protein diet. On top of that, I don’t get tired as easily as I used to.
All of my interpersonal relationships have blossomed, too. Depression prevented me from fostering deep connections in my life, but I now invest time into being a supportive friend to my loved ones. I’ve never been closer to my family than right now.
I’m currently in the healthiest relationship of my life. Before seeking treatment, I wouldn’t have even pursued my girlfriend. I lacked self-confidence and didn’t think I deserved to be loved by someone so great.
Low testosterone can happen to anyone at any age. If you’re experiencing symptoms like depression—which is already hard for guys to be open about—it doesn’t hurt to get tested. Seeking support can be hard. But trust me, it’s so worth it.
